my blogging regularity has definitely been slacking off the last while.
i come here to xanga and see it’s been 15 days since i last posted?
where did those days go?
and, before that, it was 24 days?
it’s called life.
it happens fast and furious sometimes and blogging, as much as i like it, takes a dormant back seat.
but, i’ll resurrect my page today with a very jumbled array of things…
if anything, i can say that i truly believe i am the voice of INexperience when it comes to how to do and maintain friendships.
i was just talking last night with Tim about one of the friendships of my last 10 years that i now mourn the loss of.
someone i did a lot with at one point and time and now?
never see the person.
we did not have a ‘falling out’…rather, as is the case with pretty much the whole of my life, LIFE moves on and friendships come and go.
but, then, as was the case last night, i’m overcome with feelings of nostalgia and the loss of a friendship reignites within my heart and i feel extreme sadness. and, start down this path of ‘i-am-the-odd-man(woman)-out-when-it-comes-to-friends’ that leads me nowhere and leaves me floundering.
my dear husband listens to my hearts laments and basically offers nothing more…it is a futile discussion really, because i don’t look for answers…rather, need to get it out and ponder this lifelong process that i feel i’m on.
and, here i am writing it on my blog?
i’m actually writing this out to get it out of my system, but also, to see what others have to say in relation to this issue…
i feel like my parents raised me to be a stand-alone individual, and to this day, i am ever grateful for the upbringing that has made me the independent person that i am.
independence does not mean you can wing all of life solo and not feel the need or desire for others input and interaction.
when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade…when life hands you rain, you delight in the flowers and beauty after….when life gives you hard places, you work thru them and come out on the other side with a clear picture of what He was doing in you during that hard time…
but, when life hands you friendships, what do you do with them?
how do you fit in to a place wherein everyone around you has always had each other…
how do you relate in a place where everyone has most or all of their family close by…..
how do you roll with the ebb and flow that life can become of people coming and going in your life every.single.year….
how do you raise your children to embrace the friendships life brings to them….
how do you raise your children to not hold too tightly to the friends that they have in life because you know from experience that life will take you down different paths at some point and time….
i have NO answers.
and, the experience that i have?
if i’ve done the right things?
if i would do things differently if i could?
i don’t know.
i’ve come out at a place where i give me, where i can, when i can, and how i can.
i don’t take others problems upon my shoulders in ways that i must become their best friend to help them…
i try to be the kind of friend i want to have, all the while realizing that does Not mean i will get the kind of friend i want to have.
i try not to compare who i am and what i bring to friendships with who others are and what they bring to friendships. that is a scale that will never be balanced and always, always leave both parties feeling unnecessarily weighted down.
how on earth i’m going to get this through to my kids, i have no blooming idea.
i’m especially grateful for a spouse that balances me out in this area, and who walks this road with me….letting me process and not running me over as i do so.
11 year Anniverary’s…
ours came and went this past Easter weekend.
a less than 24 hour getaway was better than a 0 hour getaway.
least, that’s what we think.
where we stayed…
and how we are looking…
and, if you really, really want to see how my baby grows by now… with fear and trembling, i give you this….
(if you know me and see me on a regular basis, i’m sorry.
feel free to roll your eyes and groan.
if you don’t see me and have asked me to see my growing girth…there you go.
just under 12 weeks til we meet this wee one…
i am so excited!)
but back to the Anniversary…
it was a wonderful little time away.
stayed at a very Nice hotel that i will definitely recommend and hope to return to.
our kids had a great time without us too, but were glad to see us return
i’m most grateful to couple of young friends who so graciously came and stayed at the house with our kiddos so we could escape.
Easter clothes and egg hunts...
wherein we kept it pretty simple.
i was DeLighted to find Ava’s dress at (of all places) Costco for all of $15.
the boys were kind of happy to be all matchy, and while that is still a happy thing, i do believe i will take advantage of the idea.
^^ the candid moments that happen each time mom thinks she wants to capture something..
he will be so proud of these kind of moments captured someday.
3 year old boys…
we now have a three year old.
how??? can that be?
time really does slip away..
to think that three years ago we were just meeting this little guy…
..and now, he is the life of our party.
^^most delighted with his birthday present from us..
^^all three of them at the littlest ones birthday party
and, now, with gorgeous weather on the forecast for our weekend here, i’m back to the races.
can’t wait to work outside some more tomorrow and take in the sunshine rays that are promised!
whatever your weekend holds, i hope it’s lovely.