Tuesday October 25, 2011

…i am pretty sure that i could keep my daughter at this age she is at.
most days.
i do not like to brag.
i am not overly tolerant of people that do a lot of that very thing, and so, i feel a little self-conscious in what i’m about to pen.
however.
i am doing it to remember.
for me.
for her someday.


   

on my playlist, the first song is “Blessings” by Laura Story.
i have found much encouragement and solace in that song in the last number of months.
i’ve played it and sang it over and over again.
my husband likes it and my daughter has latched onto it like i didn’t know she would.
it was sung at church on Sunday morning and it was so sweet to hear her voice being raised along with those around her.
her uncle asked her to sing it for him at the dinner table on Sunday afternoon, and to my surprise, she did just that. quite well actually.
it brought tears to my eyes actually, to hear her.
and, then yesterday as she was singing it again around here, it hit me like ton of bricks.

 

this thing of someday, that song could become her song too.
those words that have so ministered and spoken to my heart in the last days, someday, can bring her solace and assurance too.
i want to protect and shield her pain, from hurt, from betrayal.
always.
but, i know i cannot.
as she sings those words on a daily basis, i know she does not comprehend what she sings.
it overwhelms me to think of not knowing those hard things and i cannot comprehend a life without pain and hard things because it feels like it’s been so long since i was innocent to the reality of life in a fallen world.
i’m thankful she has not experienced the pain of this life and the betrayal and the darkness.
but, i must be realistic in the fact that in this life there will be pain she will experience and there will be times when her way feels lost.
i hope and pray and want to trust that as she sings these words, as they become ingrained in her little mind and heart, that she will remember and know someday what they really mean….

‘o Lord, keep her heart soft toward You. let her know that Your Presence is always there and always available when she feels lost in her way. i pray that i would have wisdom from You to guide and help her along her pathway here on this earth so that she can experience your Mercies evermore.’

/////////////////////////////

this last week of October is quite beautiful…
i hope you enjoy each day of it!
~Rachel

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13 thoughts on “Tuesday October 25, 2011

  1. Beautiful, Rachel!!  I am quite sure that you will raise up a daughter who is able to deal with the curve balls and hard things that life throws her way…because she has seen her Mother walk through those hard times with grace.  Beautiful pictures of Ava, too!

  2. O I just got all lumpy in my throat and emotional reading this! You have bragging rights.  I do believe you should videotape her when she’s singing it for you or her daddy. I so agree with what ‘appalolly’ wrote!  I think of you often as you ‘ride-out-this-journey’ with grace. You are a beautiful example to your precious kiddos.

  3. I think it’s so cool how some of the things we learn as kids we don’t understand but then when we get older it all makes perfect sense and God brings to mind those things from long ago. BTW love the lighting in that second pic!

  4. So beautiful.  Ava.  The song.  Thinking of her singing it and someday knowing the truth in the words she sings (no, the pain isn’t beautiful but the knowledge that comes through pain is).  And thinking of you being willing to stand beside her without smothering her.  

  5. the prayer at the end should be the prayer of ALL mother’s hearts.. what a beautiful post for a precious girl~i’ve no doubt with you as her mother.. she will recognize the mercies in disguise behind the trials! love.

  6. I have heard “Blessings” before, and I adore the song — the brilliance of its words. Just how something so simple could hold something so profound. And I guess I’m writing to you because I read this post over and over and over… understanding that I’m there right now. In that lost feeling. {Somehow Amber always has a way of either recommending posts/writing posts that are helpful in the moment of need for me}. I guess all I really wanted to say is to keep praying for your daughter… and with her too — that’s so very important. I would give anything for my mummy to have been that way with me, and for her to say some kind of prayer like this to help me right now. Thanks for sharing :–)

  7. Wow. I didn’t read the other comments before I posted….but now see that Cyndi (Downonthefarm) and I have almost the exact same comment. LOL. πŸ˜‰ Great minds…..fragment sentences alike!!

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