just when you think you’ve had all that you can take, you realize that faith has brought you to this point.
and, you realize that it’s only through facing the ‘hard’ things in life that your faith is tested and brought to light.
you recognize that if life would always go like we think it should and how we want it to, faith would have no place in our lives.
if we could rely on ourselves and our abilities, we would have no need of seeing that life is so much more than what we think it seems like now.
if we would never see miracles happen, if we would never see lives changed by the power of His odds-overcoming Greatness, we would be fully self sufficient.
new beginnings are hard.
out of the ashes is dirty, lowly, ugly.
but, only by the dying can we become new.
only by the death of the self can the New Man come in and live.
only by the season of cold, the season of dormancy, the season of struggling to break out of the old do we come to the new season of life and new chances.
the season of a clean slate.
the season of realizing that God is still in control, that God is still moving, that God still works on our behalf even in the times we see as hard and painful.
when the lens focus changes back to seeing thru eyes of eternal Hope, you see His goodness.
you see Him work miracles for others.
you see how very much even the little, the seemingly insignificant is part of the Master Plan
you see others pain as a response to a deep need.
you see that your own responses to lifes hard things can either make or break you.
and, you realize that God’s saying:
I, who am eternal, will be your strength in the (momentary)weakness.
this morning, i sit in *my* spot in my living room…my spot where the light streams in thru all the many windows, my spot where the chair is plushy and the side table holds the steaming coffee.
i sit here and watch my firstborn read a ‘chapter book’.
gone are the days of being content with the likes of ‘The Cat in the Hat’.
we have crossed over into the world of books with chapters.
how, when it feels like yesterday i was reading and re-reading the same little baby books to him and he was snuggled in my lap.
how, did we go from the days of ‘he’s got his first 2 teeth’ to the days of ‘i have 3 adult teeth!’ just like that?
he’s home from school for the long weekend and i’m so very glad.
he’s gone through his bag of loot from the big Easter party they had in his class yesterday and slobbered as he thought of if and when he will get to devour yet another piece of candy.
i’m tempted to let him at it…but, i think better.
we’ve got the whole weekend plus Monday ahead of us, and i know we’ll run out of things to do.
possibly even today.
but, for now, i’m excited about the prospects.
even though each season brings fun things, each season is worth the change, i do wish i would have purposed to enjoy more of the days and years when we were all at home.
i wish i would have slowed down and focused more on making memories than i did on making beds and cleaning.
so, today, this first day of the holiday weekend, i’m going to (try, very hard)
make all the moments meaningful.